a memory maker video:

here are all the harris grandkids together for christmas 2009!  

so its hard to get 6 kids to look at the camera at the same time!

long video, and my camera ran out of disk space!

fairels, thompsons - this is for you:

big meal around the kid table

as we decided at the party... check out all my mom's grandkids around nathaniel's mom's table!  :)  (and of coarse, 1/3 of them are her grandkids too!)

happy birthday song to holly #1

holly's first birthday, dec. 22nd party!

here are some pictures from holly's BIRTHDAY birthday party.  (to be followed by her  just plain birthday party... ha! what's better than celebrating twice???)

first we opened a couple of presents from mom and dad... we gave holly a little purse and a pair of footed PJs.  kendal got some puzzles for holly's birthday.  :)

next was a lot of yummy food.  not much to show with that except that we had a table full of children.  the joke was that it was all my mom's grandchildren sitting around nathaniel's mom's table!  ha!  it was a full table...

and last came cupcakes.  since the anna and jackson's birthday party a couple of weeks ago, we've been priming her for cake.  she loves it (naturally, she loves everything).

and now to wash it down with milk!  yum!  happy birthday holly!

happy birthday baby girl!

a year ago i was in labor.
a year ago i was still wondering if i could love another child as much as i already loved the one i had.
a year ago i was wondering if i'd be home in time for christmas, and when they'd let me eat, and if my head would ever stop hurting (i.e. if i'd puke or have a baby first).  i was thinking about kendal and how he was doing with mom and dad and the fairel clan, and missing him so much.  

i've learned since then that kinda like when you overfill yourself with a wonderful meal, you always have room for dessert:  no matter how much you love your first child, you love the second one just as much.  and, i dare say in a different way because my two children are SO different in every way (but looks and xx xy chromosome pairs... ha!)  melissa says that no matter how many you have, you love them all as much.  i'm not gonna test that theory, i just believe her.  i really do believe her.  because i know if i had a third, i would definitely not worry about loving it as much as #1 and #2. 

well, gotta cut this short.  kendal decided to wake up poor holly - who had 5 shots today.  she was 30-1/4 in long and 23 lb 2.25 oz.  that is 85 & 80th percentile for the baby girl charts (for what that matters).  i can tell you she's a big one because she's been wearing 18m clothes for 3 months now!  :)

an odd one for xm43

this one doesn't really fit with the typical genre on xm 43 - in my opinion.  however, it has grown on me and now i really like it.

i must disclaim here, though, that the radio version is MUCH better.  or, maybe it is my speakers that make it sound better.  too much treble on the computer.  it has a lot of bass in it that is really sweet.  this is a rockin' song.  even the kids dance to it.  :)

this is one of my recent favorites:

another great song discovery on XMchannel43

when the acts of man cause the ground to break open...

seems like this would be a great song to go with the movie for "the road" if it had any music.

some great music for the weekend...

holly's first steps

holly's first candy, and appropriately it was a peppermint stick!

abc and 123 by kendal

the kitties

haven't posted any pics of them in a while, and these pics are kinda old.  PKP is almost as big as her mama now. 

recurring nightmare

don't know why it keeps coming.
don't know if it is something i eat, something i drink, something i do during the day.
years ago nathaniel gave me a lifehammer which worked like a tums for heartburn.  now it is back eating away at my night.

back with a vengeance.

its no secret that i lost my job.  and, with the loss of a job, was the loss of any hopes for a #3.  simply stated, it just isn't affordable.  and in so many ways i know it is great to have just 2.  i love the 2 i have.  they couldn't be any more perfect.

2 nights ago, the night after nathaniel's birthday, i kept dreaming it.  i crashed into the water and we were sinking.  i had to save them both, at the same time.  no way could i only take one and come back for the other.  what if i couldn't find the car?  what if i were too exhausted?  they both were going with me or none of us were going at all.

the lifehammer broke the window easy as pie.  the water was already filling the car, we were mostly submerged.  the kids were unhooked, glaring at me but not afraid.  i was moving fast, the water was cold and dark and muddy.  it was night.  i took one last breath and grabbed one with each arm, holding them tighter than a runningback that just caught a pass during the last 2 seconds of the superbowl.  i pushed my legs out the window and then wedged each child out next.  i kicked as hard as i could but my breath was nearly out.  we surfaced and i awoke with a dreadful feeling of "what if there were 3? which one would i leave?" 

i've already started getting rid ofur baby stuff.  giving it away, selling it, passing it on... i just can't keep it.  to keep it leaves room for more. 

in 3 weeks kendal will move up to a hand-me-down toddler bed.  that means his crib and crib set - that i shopped high and low for - will have to go.

life is bittersweet.

indie rock lover in training!

kendal is typically indifferent to my music.  ("my" music being indie rock.)

yesterday, i saw him dancing in his car seat to rough steez.
thename of the band is obscene so i won't write it, but, i'm sure i'll show up on this youtube video.   don't be mad at me for posting it though, i didn't name the band.  and there aren't any words in the song, it is just music/beat.  kendal loved it!

sad to see this in the news

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/4907655/

saw this story on the news tonight and immediately had to to find it on wral.com.

i used to work with this fellow when i worked with DOT.  way back in 'the day' - back before his apparent crooked days.  back when i met him and worked with him, he was one of the nicest guys in the office.  he was always helpful and went out of his way to get me what i needed.  he had a daughter and, since i was the only female who went in the field (and then there was only one other female - the administrative assistant), he really looked after me.  he never gave me a hard time and tried to teach me all he knew about drilling.  for example... you know how, as a woman who knows little about cars... if your car was making a noise and you didn't know why it was doing it, you'd call a mechanic and say "my car is going blebhhhh blebhhh" - well, he'd take my description and tell me what to tell my (usually stumped) drilling crew to do to fix it.  in that, i learned a lot about drilling and engines and motors and moving parts in general.  and i know that it is he that i have to thank for that knowledge.  he really was a super guy.

but unfortunately, things change for people.  rather, a series of both misunderstood and unfortunate events can happen around a person that can affect said person so much that it changes the core of who they are.  and, i guess that is just what happened to him.  and it is SO SO sad to know that i was near him when it happened.  (and when i say near, i mean i was close enough to hear stories.  unfortunate events + small town = gossip.  and i don't particularly like gossip, but, those things did change him.  because he pled guilty.  and the man i knew would never do things like that.)

this brings me to one of the "worst case scenario" i can think of, and it happened to my sister's old neighbor.  they were a family of 5, and now a family of 4.  they lost the baby at about age 3 to brain cancer.  sarah parker was her name.  well, those parents (and her brothers), well they clearly have experienced a series of unfortunate events.  those type events can change a person (and a family).  i suppose there is a fork in the road in a situation like that and you can choose to take the angry road or you can keep on praying and, although you may still not understand, stay on the holy road.

i hope that none of my friends or family or myself ever reach that fork.  and if you or i do, i hope we choose the right path.  and, i hope it isn't too late for my old friend.  i know he was a good man.  i hope he can remember how great being that way felt like.

a few photos of the tree...

for obvious reasons this year, we had to put away my numerous breakable (glass) ornaments and thus our tree is very sparsely decorated with the few plastic ones i've gathered through the years.

however, i did still put kendal and holly's special ornaments from mark and amy (at the top of the tree). here is holly's (this is its first year on a tree!)

and kendal's ornament (it is his third year!  it does have his name on it, you just can't see it from this angle)

and, here are holly and kendal at the tree the morning after nathaniel put it up!
(they are still in PJs AND they had a cold, thus holly had on a shirt/bib. oh, and did i mention these pictures were with my phone?  which is why they are bad.  my camera was mia for a while when we got back from KY.)

dear friends and family,

dear friends and family,

where oh where have my blogging friends gone?

has facebook and twitter become their new home?

where one sentence statements posting four times a day

are substituting for your blogs, which have been vacant since may?

are you out of ideas, or just have no time?

even the pages i lurked no longer give me a dime!

i miss the stories about funny things in your lives:

your thank yous, accomplishments, or your husband's butt hives.

or even the sad things, your hardships, and so very much more

please return to blogging because it i adore!

love,

analee

(p.s. this excludes amy because she still blogs)