first photo: a nice profile, second photo: she has her hand in her mouth
(and yes, i know they spelled my name wrong, twice.)
TODAY was our 21 week anatomy ultrasound. previous to the actual doctor visit, we decided to try and find out the gender this time. and as i alluded to in the photo caption... we are likely having a "she"/"her".
so laying there on the table with jelly and a ultrasound thingy gliding across my abdomen (somehow always hitting the bellybutton), i wondered if it was the right thing to find out the gender. i know we already decided to find out, but still... i was having second thoughts.
nathaniel sitting in the chair to my left side, holding my hand, we watched as she measured the brain/skull, the bladder, the femur, the "waist", the kidneys, my placenta, and all 4 chambers of the heart (from 2 different directions). she ventured down into the "nether region" and said "do you want to know the gender?" i kept my mouth shut, nathaniel said "YES!" and squeezed my hand. she pushed and poked more on my belly. "well i don't see any boy parts" spat out of her mouth and my hand went limp. she kept bouncing pushing and poking for a better view and said again, "well i definitely don't see any boy parts."
still, my arm lie motionless, and feeling the squeezes from nathaniel, i glanced over at him to see his expression, really trying to hide my own. he was grinning from ear to ear. i, on the other hand, trying to hold back tears (um, gonna use the hormone excuse again for those tears).
i remember when the doctor said, with kendal, "its a boy!" and i was so surprised in the same way as i was today because i was SURE we were having a girl. i was all ready for the girl name we had (robin noelle) and was very disappointed we wouldn't be able to use it. and i know we have 4 more months to think about names, but i was DEAD set on a boy name this time (marshal benson), and i suppose my reaction was more due to the fact i won't be able to use that name.
why can't i use "old" names? well, i really feel like the boy and girl name that are picked for the fetal baby belong to that child, and that child only. and even though this one will PROBABLY be born on christmas eve or something, noelle really belongs to kendal. just like marshal benson will belong to this baby, even if we didn't get to use it. so, i am not sad we are having a girl. i'm happy about that. but i really really really had my heart set on a boy (that is what i get for thinking about it so much, right?)
i suppose i am happiest that she appears healthy as can be. and when we started this whole ultrasound thing today, the first image was front on face. based on the bone structure we saw, she is going to look like her brother, square face and big noggin' and all.
and so today, we are back to square 1 with a girl name (maybe i'll change my mind about the belonging-to-baby-craziness i have). i had a nice one picked out, but it was more a "reserve" name that i really didn't think i'd have to use. that name was amelia blair. i liked it this morning. now, i'm not so sure. seems i have to be so certain with a girl name now.
last, i totally have that feeling now that i was not supposed to know what this baby is. i feel like i've cheated, and i'm not too fond of that feeling. i can't turn back the clock, but i can assure you with the next one (if there is a next one)
we will NOT be finding out the gender before he/she is born!!!
first photo: a nice profile, second photo: she has her hand in her mouth
(and yes, i know they spelled my name wrong, twice.)
TODAY was our 21 week anatomy ultrasound. previous to the actual doctor visit, we decided to try and find out the gender this time. and as i alluded to in the photo caption... we are likely having a "she"/"her".
so laying there on the table with jelly and a ultrasound thingy gliding across my abdomen (somehow always hitting the bellybutton), i wondered if it was the right thing to find out the gender. i know we already decided to find out, but still... i was having second thoughts.
nathaniel sitting in the chair to my left side, holding my hand, we watched as she measured the brain/skull, the bladder, the femur, the "waist", the kidneys, my placenta, and all 4 chambers of the heart (from 2 different directions). she ventured down into the "nether region" and said "do you want to know the gender?" i kept my mouth shut, nathaniel said "YES!" and squeezed my hand. she pushed and poked more on my belly. "well i don't see any boy parts" spat out of her mouth and my hand went limp. she kept bouncing pushing and poking for a better view and said again, "well i definitely don't see any boy parts."
still, my arm lie motionless, and feeling the squeezes from nathaniel, i glanced over at him to see his expression, really trying to hide my own. he was grinning from ear to ear. i, on the other hand, trying to hold back tears (um, gonna use the hormone excuse again for those tears).
i remember when the doctor said, with kendal, "its a boy!" and i was so surprised in the same way as i was today because i was SURE we were having a girl. i was all ready for the girl name we had (robin noelle) and was very disappointed we wouldn't be able to use it. and i know we have 4 more months to think about names, but i was DEAD set on a boy name this time (marshal benson), and i suppose my reaction was more due to the fact i won't be able to use that name.
why can't i use "old" names? well, i really feel like the boy and girl name that are picked for the fetal baby belong to that child, and that child only. and even though this one will PROBABLY be born on christmas eve or something, noelle really belongs to kendal. just like marshal benson will belong to this baby, even if we didn't get to use it. so, i am not sad we are having a girl. i'm happy about that. but i really really really had my heart set on a boy (that is what i get for thinking about it so much, right?)
i suppose i am happiest that she appears healthy as can be. and when we started this whole ultrasound thing today, the first image was front on face. based on the bone structure we saw, she is going to look like her brother, square face and big noggin' and all.
and so today, we are back to square 1 with a girl name (maybe i'll change my mind about the belonging-to-baby-craziness i have). i had a nice one picked out, but it was more a "reserve" name that i really didn't think i'd have to use. that name was amelia blair. i liked it this morning. now, i'm not so sure. seems i have to be so certain with a girl name now.
last, i totally have that feeling now that i was not supposed to know what this baby is. i feel like i've cheated, and i'm not too fond of that feeling. i can't turn back the clock, but i can assure you with the next one (if there is a next one) we will NOT be finding out the gender before he/she is born!!!
I think it's exciting that Kendal (apparently) is going to have a little sister. But, you never know; "things" do get tucked up, so, the baby could turn out to be a boy, yet.
ReplyDeleteAs for names, yeah, Noelle would have been nice for an Xmas baby, BUT, frankly, I always thought it was sort of silly to name a child after a holiday season. Or the month in which they are born. I sure hope I'm not offending anywhere here, it's just MO.
I liked your thought of using one of yours (or both of your) family names, maybe modify it somewhat to be more contemporary if you think it "sounds" better.
But, who am I to write about such things? I still can't decide what to name our TBD kitty Pete's brother (also TBD). I'd be a mess with a naming a human!
And, no Doc. It won't be "Repeat"!
Ahem, before anyone gets the wrong impression, it was MY decision to find out the gender on this baby. The rule was, if I get to know the gender, you get to name the baby.
ReplyDeleteYou never know about the third one, if a boy arrives and he looks like a Marshal, then Marshal it is.
To be honest, whether you find out at birth or via ultrasound, the whole gender issue is relatively not very exciting. The fact they are healthy is what is important to me. Remember, when K was born, we were both too tired to care if it was a boy or a girl.
I do agree the third and supposed final child should be a mystery...
Okay... time for my opinion. First, I am glad that you found out. It will make the remainder of the pregnancy different. Second, if Faith had been a boy, she would have been Joshua (and remember that I was not positive that she was going to be a girl - regardless of ultrasound results). The name was significant to me and Rob. We knew we wanted to use it. When she was a girl, we knew we would use Josh if we ever DID have a boy. Third, not knowing the gender of baby 4 was exciting, but by the end -- as we sat with me hooked up to the pitocin desperately searching the baby name book for the 'perfect' name -- it became more of a stresser. Plus, we had to pass up some AWESOME baby clothes deals because I didn't want to stock up on yellow and green.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am glad that you both get to experience a new pregnancy in many ways with this one. Plus, I think every mama should have a little girl that she will eventually have to force to write her spelling words :-)