my experience with melanoma

yesterday, i saw an obituary for a 33 year old woman who died after unsuccessfully battling melanoma.
tomorrow, i have my 4th *clean* body scan (well, i hope clean) after having my own melanoma removed. i just felt it appropriate to write this and share it with everyone. my intent is to urge each one of you to go to a dermatologist and have a full body scan. also, be sure to use sun BLOCK and to never use tanning beds. they are SERIOUSLY a death trap.

when i was growing up, my mom always put sunblock on us. she didn't allow us out during the peak hours of the day. she protected my skin. when i was 16, i was a lifeguard and usually sat underneath an umbrella (it was hot!).

when i was in college, in about april, i would start going to the tanning bed to get a "base tan" - i justified it as "it is safer than getting burned in the sun" because typically in the sun, i would literally go from white to red. i never burned in the tanning bed. i would buy the month unlimited packages and go for 2 minutes and gradually and slowly move up to the 20 minutes maximum allowed time. i rarely went every day. probably 3 or 4 times max in the spring. in the summer, i often went to the beach and roasted myself but i typically used a SPF 15 sunblock on my body and a SPF 30 on my face. i would tan with that, and i didn't burn often. i knew to take it slow.

i burned some in my life, but not that often. i have lots of freckles, and i tan somewhat.

when i was 31, that was probably the last time i ever used a tanning bed.

between having kendal and getting pregnant with holly, i had a mole on my abdomen that would sometimes get irritated and bleed (it was under my bra strap). i made an appointment to get it removed. i also had a spot on my chest that would scab over and not heal. my dad had basil cell carcinoma on his nose the winter prior and i was worried i had what he had. so, i made an appointment at a dermatologist near where i worked and went in and asked her about both spots. she removed both but was unconcerned with them. turns out, the one on my chest was precancer. she recommended i come back for a "full body scan." about 4 months later, i finally got an appointment for that scan, and at that point i was pregnant with holly. she looked me over (and i mean, ALL over - going to the dermatologist for a scan is nothing like going to the OBGYN when it comes to modesty...) and she saw a spot on the back of my left leg that she wanted to remove. i'd never even noticed it before. it was flat, mostly round,not THAT big (though it was a little bigger than the surrounding freckles) and it wasn't really multicolored. i'd say, in all, that it didn't meet the criteria preached by most doctors for "moles to worry about."

anyway, within 2 weeks i had a call that it was melanoma. sadly, i didn't even know what melanoma was. the nurse said "it is the bad kind" and i actually had to look it up online to understand what she meant. melanoma is the fastest kind of skin cancer and can quickly spread to your lymph nodes. naturally, i was concerned. especially since i was pregnant. all the "what ifs" were entering my mind.

on june 9th, 2008, a different doctor (the "chief" doctor there) cut a huge pocket out of my calf. it was about 4 inches long, 3 inches wide, and about 1 inch deep. i am not exaggerating. after it was stitched up, i could have easily sat a golf ball in it and it would have stayed right there. i had all sorts of reactions to the latex and adhesives in the bandages and that is another story in itself, but all in all it has healed up well now and you'd probably not even notice the scar. (it filled back in with fat within a year...)

the doctor got all the cancer during that one surgery so that is the good news in all of that. i was fortunate enough to catch it early enough before it spread far.

for the past 2 years i have been terrified of the sun and have suffered the consequences such as having low vit.D in my blood. this year, i've decided that that melanoma very likely came from my use of a tanning bed. given its location (on the back of my leg, right below my knee - where it would be pressed up next to a UV bulb in a death bed) and the fact i've NEVER been burnt there from the sun, i doubt i got it from just living a normal life and enjoying outside. so this year, i'm still using sunblock on my face, but i'm trying to not fear the sun. the real sun.

anyway, i hope by sharing this story with you that you understand how important it is to incorporate the dermatologist into your yearly checkups. i also hope you understand how important it is to not use tanning beds. maybe you don't use them, but maybe you know someone who does. or, maybe you have a child that wants to use them. they are horrible and using them will eventually catch up to you!

please call a dermatologist ASAP and have a body check! if you need a recommendation, i can tell you for certain that my doctor (a woman) has a good eye for bad spots!

graceism

wish i had a picture to post here... and i do, but they are all on my camera. which is who knows where... anyway, last weekend we met the fairels in TN to deliver baby bedding and supplies. we haven't seen the kids in a while. grace was most interested in the scar on the back of my calf (where the melanoma was). she said "it looks like you have a zipper on the back of your leg." know what? it does kinda look like a zipper!

busted stitches

it is official. i've not taken it easy (enough) on my leg. just this morning i was squatting to get kendal and i felt a "snap" in the back of my calf. sure enough, i popped a stitch. oh well.

melanoma free!!! (at least in one spot)

got the call from the dermatologist today... he removed ALL the melanoma from my left calf.

i thought i'd add a few photos of the scar, thus far. note all the little red dots are where the 150 +/- novicane shots went in.

the last picture i know is blurry, but that is just to show the indent left in my leg. the picture really doesn't show it that well. one day, i'll show you my scar!!!

i saw this postsecret and it made me cringe.
i think, officially, i have embraced my whiteness.
actually, i covered it in SPF70.

sometimes it sucks being white

and i mean that literally. today was both a day for good news for me as a woman, and a day for bad news for me as a whitey.

the good news is #1 my BP was fine even with the fact that i just learned the bad news (described below), and also that we now have a due date for baby #2. december 18th is the special day accd to my cycle, and december 24th is the day accd to the ultrasound. so, that week then, we can expect a new little baby!

between now and end of july, we have to decide whether or not we want to find out the gender during our second (and last) ultrasound. this time it is nathaniel's decision!

the bad news is that i got a call from the dermatologist today to tell me the results of last week's biopsy. ( i had a "questionable area" removed from the back of my left calf. this spot, to me, looked like a freckle and i never suspected that it would need to be removed. as a matter of a fact, i never even noticed it until she pointed it out to me.) well, it is melanoma. yes. at 32 years old, i have my first melanoma diagnosis. and those of you who know me know that i am a sunblock freak. i suppose i've not always been so "good", as i gave way to many hours to the tanning beds back when i was in college (and a little after). if i knew then what i knew now...

so in 3 weeks i go for a excision, where they will cut off more skin. so much skin that this time, i have to "stay off my leg" for a while so i won't pop any of the stitches. right. how does one do that with a (nearly) 9 month old?

please, if you read this blog, find a dermatologist and GO have a body scan. it takes less than 5 minutes, is painless (they just look at you), and is SO worth it if they can find any bad stuff and remove it before it is too late. just last fall i had a precancer removed from my clavicle. (i actually went in to have a mole removed because i kept knocking it off with my fingernail, it was right under my bra and really was in the way. she saw that spot on my shoulder and suggested i get it off since they were already doing one spot, wouldn't be too much trouble to do two). i'm glad she encouraged me to schedule the full over scan. so the body scan, if you have state employees insurance, only costs the $40 specialist copay. any biopsies will be applied to the deductable - WORTH IT!!!!