its cool to drink kool-aid!

remember these? well while dad and i were cleaning out the basement, we found 4 of these cups. sorry it has tea in it (not koolaid), i think it'd be cuter with a green liquid in it. but, mom didn't even have any food coloring for me to just make colored water with! :) anyway, i just had to post this! i used to LOVE these cups when i was little!

this weekend's random to do list

we have several goals that must be accomplished this weekend. first and foremost (however it will likely be done last) is packing my hospital bag and installing the baby seat in my car. before this can be done, we have to wash all our clothes (about 5 loads) so i actually can pick the clothes i want to take. (even pregnant women have pants they prefer to wear!) i also wanted to wrap the gifts that we have already, decorate the jelly jars (also gifts), and write ALL my christmas cards. oh, and i want to decorate our porch (just lights and garland). i got the porch decorated this morning while kendal took his first nap and nathaniel took the trash to the dump. it took about an hour. i've also been washing clothes all day, have 1 more load to go (just towels). then we have to fold them all. that'll happen before we go to bed since the pile of clean clothes COVERS our bed. i've been writing cards now for about 3 hours on and off now. my hand is SO tired... of writing "love, analee, nathaniel, and kendal". boy oh boy, i feel for my sister who has to sign not only her and rob's name, but also all 4 kids (unless she is lucky enough for the 2 that can write to sign their own names... but i'm sure that takes longer than if she just did it). turns out though that i can't count (no surprise there, huh?) because i'm short 3 cards. guess i have to add "make 3 christmas cards" to my list of things to do. somewhere i have to find a place to hang our stockings. downstairs has no decoration this year, everything is upstairs where we actually live and play. no chimney there, though... so, got to come up with a new idea! my voice is still gone, so nathaniel is still on primary caretaker duty for kendal. my lack of voice (and the horrible sounds that come out between air-ish sounds) seems to scare kendal. yesterday, he wouldn't even let me hold him. i could see in his teary eyes "what happened to my mama!" i feel some better today, nathaniel came home early (actually met us at the doctor in wake forest) - he took kendal home and napped him while i waited for nearly 2 hours to have my prescription filled. so, let me add to my list - not to forget to take my antibiotics. i'm so bad with pills. it requires memory (rather re-memory) and this baby has sucked all my potential re-thoughs away from me. (i consider it a lack of oxygen to the brain...) fortunately yesterday i got all my family's gifts ordered (ah, "hand crafted - online!"), got my T-family gift finished (need to wrap), and today melissa's kids' gifts came in the mail (need to wrap them too). oh yea, i need to find batteries for them. maybe i should go gather batteries right now before i forget.

the world is so _________

i have been using facebook to reconnect with several of my old friends from high school and college. it always brings a smile to my face and a spur of excitement to my spirit to find someone that i adored in high school or college, yet upon graduation, we lost the 4 walls of an educational institution to bring us together. it always amazes me that i hear from all these people that STILL live within 20 miles of me, except i never see them anywhere. one of my old high school friends is a photographer now, although she got a degree in elementary education. it was not surprising to me that she specializes in photographing babies, kids, and families. (i.e. she does NOT do weddings.) she photographed kendal for his 1-year photos and our family/maternity photos. she did such a great job (for a VERY reasonable price, just a little more than places like sears and JCPennies with MUCH better quality!) - i'd recommend her to anyone. (www.blinsonphotography.com) weird enough, though, she actually lives nearby - close enough that we shop at the same stores - and i've never run into her! this amazement goes for college friends too, since my college roommate (one of them) lives only 5 miles down the road from me. The only place i see her is at the doctor's office (she is a nurse at kendal's pediatrician). last month as you know, nathaniel and i traveled out west for a vacation. about 5 days into our trip, we ventured to a tiny national park that was about 45 miles away from any major roads (or gas or food). it was there that i ran into richard spruill, who taught me all i know about hydrology (he was one of my favorite professors). he also happens to be one of kate's current professors, and also part-owns a hydrogeologic company that is our competitor. dr. spruill told me his theory of people.. he said that there are only 400 people in the world and everywhere you go, they go too. so you always run one of those 400 people. just the next week, my friend stephanie (another college friend) saw him in houston. stephanie lives in raleigh, and i never run into her anywhere around town. again, she lives close enough that we shop at the same stores. so is the world big or small?

the passing of time

my computer plays a slideshow of all my "kendal" photos as the screensaver. i often find myself watching it, saying "awwwww" at the way kendal has grown! recently, i sifted through all of his baby clothes with the intent on sorting OUT the "genderless" newborn clothes to send to melissa (since she is waiting to find out the gender on baby #4). i boxed the remaining boy clothes up according to size. i really can't believe he used to fit in those tiny little newborn clothes! it was funny the memories that become attached to certain outfits. i suppose i can see now why mom didn't throw away (or donate) any of our baby clothes. i could see myself hanging on to all these things, even if i wasn't going to use them again (which HOPEFULLY will not be the case).

i was doing this packing about the time we were planning on a cruise sale date of may 10th (the next available cruise after the one we booked). to be honest, i kinda was sad about that (fortunately it worked out that we could bump it up a week) because i'd miss my first mothers day with kendal! but, now i won't miss it, and we STILL get to go on a cruise. i already have that deep dread in my stomach about leaving. it is already so great that i have nearly stopped eating except when starvation mode hunger kicks in. i used to get this feeling when we'd visit melissa in missouri from the day we arrived and, likewise, it worsened as the trip grew long and the drive/flight home grew near. (this was when grace was a baby, and again when faith was little too). i used to love to see them, but the entire trip i dreaded the leaving part. i even contemplated moving to MO for a while (i don't know if M knows that).

well i'm aimlessly rambling now... i can't believe how fast time passes when you become a mother. i know it "speeds up" as you get older, but once that motherhood part kicks in, time REALLY flies. i can't believe i'm 32. i can't believe kendal is 8 months (almost). seems like just yesterday i graduated from college and traveled eastern NC with the DOT. and it seems like just last night i met nathaniel. and just 2 hours ago i was pregnant.

so here is my photolog of my screensaver version the passing of time. go ahead. you can say "awwwwww" too!

-18 weeks

1 hour

5 days

2 weeks

1 month

6 weeks

7 weeks

8 weeks

9 weeks

10 weeks

11 weeks

3 months

3.5 months

4 months

5 months

for some reason, i can't upload any more photos... so i do have one for the 6 month and 7 month period, but i'll have to try later to do it. maybe it is too early for blogger to be working right!

lima bean hour

there is a blog that i frequent. i have to do it on the down low, for reasons i won't mention. it is one of the 2 (or 3) sites a visit on a regular basis in which i never comment or let my presence be known.

so recently, on this blog, the writer posted a wonderful poem. really, s/he is on a poetry kick right now. most of them i do not connect with. but this one, i did. i just love it. i've read it every day for weeks now.

You do not like them but I do.
So the times when you are away
are some of my favorite hours.

I soak them overnight
in a large pot
and use the same white bowl.

hot enough
to melt three pats of butter
that I stir in with a fork
and cover with salt and pepper.

The first taste is a sliding headlong
into the gorgeous oblivion
of God's vegetable graciousness
and it is lovely.

Perhaps if you liked them
we would eat them all the time.

Perhaps if you liked them
I would never have loved you at all.

riding dirty

funny that that song makes me think of faith. not in the "riding dirty" kind of way, just the "widin' durdy" way. (those of you who DO know what i'm talking about will laugh when you hear the song, uncensored - i can't for the LIFE of me think of where she'd hear this song! melissa doesn't listen to this kind of music!)

what's up with that dude's teeth? is that attractive? yea. ok. maybe if you are a gemologist.

so taday i said to nathaniel "we need a vacuum upstairs and we need one downstairs too!"

he said "NO WE DON'T!!!" (i agree, we don't need 2, but it would be nice.)

this brief conversation made me think of about when i was little, my mom had one of those blue electrolux vacuum cleaners. i used to ride the trunk part of it like a dog. some way, in my mind, it was like a dog. except without the fur. i loved riding that old thing.


also, i saw a couple of boxes on the side of the road today. anyone want to build a fort?



tee hee hee.

Is it her ring?

just a bit ago before my mom met the lady with the ring, my mom called me and said "if it isn't mine, should i take it?" she knew the answer to this question. i suppose the excitement of "my ring!" was over and reality over-set in (she had the gut feeling it wasn't gonna be hers). i asked her how many people she graduated with. she said '25 in my class, 24 in the "other" class'. i suppose the 'other' class means the integrated [black] class. so in the end, there was basically a 50-50 chance the ring was hers.

unfortunately for my mom (and me), the ring was not hers. the ring was a bit banged up (bent), but it definitely wasn't hers. my mom did not take the ring. the initials were similar to hers, but are the same as those of the black boy in her class. so, they looked up his name in the phone book and he still lives in the area. we can only hope now that this ring finds its way home to the rightful owner. (well, assuming it was lost in the first place.)

i wish i knew the end to this story. i guess this will be one of those that kinda leave you hanging and wondering what really happens in the end. kinda like that book i just read. except in this case, i won't be writing a sequel!

what goes around comes around!

well, maybe. lets just HOPE what goes around comes around, for this story anyway.

so today, mom called me about 4pm. she said "i just got the strangest phone call."

now if my mama calls it strange, then it is strange. she went on to tell me about a woman that went to school with aunt joy (her older sister). this woman (i don't know her name) called mom today and told her "i think we have something of yours!"

what could it be? mom's first thought was pictures. but why after all these years (eh, can i say it mom? it is 39 years this year since mom graduated from high school!) would this lady think that she had something mom would want after ALL those years!?! especially from/for someone who wasn't even her class.

well, the lady went on to explain that her GRANDson bought a "box of junk", i'm guessing at an auction or a yard sale. where? who knows. but anyway, inside the box of junk was a tackle box. and inside that tackle box was a class ring from the high school that mom went to (remember, that school isn't even around anymore), a ring from the Class Of 1969, a ladies' ring, blue stone, etc. inside the ring are my mom's first and last initial.

so, let me change the story for a minute. i just finished reading a book called "secret life of bees" (it is ok, i recommend it for a quick read). this book takes place in 1964, the year that black people got the right to vote. after discussing this with my mom and dad, it turns out that mom's senior year was the year that her school integrated blacks and whites. isn't that just amazing? that she participated in such a historic event? same goes for my dad. it was actually pretty neat listening to the 2 of them talk about the year schools were integrated. i can't imagine what it was like...

well, there was only one other person in her senior class that had her same first and last initial. he was a black boy, a 'new' student in her school.

ok, so back to my original story. is this her ring? is this the ring that i lost? that i gave away? well, we will find out tomorrow. mom is going to see her when she goes to see tuter (my grandma, her mother). i can't wait to write part 3!

up next: part 3 - is it her ring?

old news

Laurel Mill, a landmark near where my mom went to high school

here is a story that very few know about... and the ones who know it probably forgot it, so i think the time has come that it is time to mention it again.

back when i was in middle school, i was obsessed with rings, as most pre-teen girls probably are... well at the time, my mom had her old high school class ring, a high school that no longer exists. so anyway, she let me wear her ring. i wore it for a long time, all the time, etc.

until one day, i let one of my "friends" (who happened to be black) wear the ring. it was probably a friday. and, i forgot to get it back. or, maybe she said "let me wear it for the weekend." i really can't be certain.

of coarse, me NOT wearing it home from school was quickly noticed by my mom. who was quite upset, and rightly so. i explained what was to happen, that i was supposed to get it back on monday. well on monday, i didn't get it back. the girl said (and i do remember this) that she let her cousin wear it. so on tuesday, i can't remember if my mom called her mom, or if we went to her house. her mom probably wasn't home. i think there were like 20 people living in their little green house right down the street from school. they were poor.

i suppose mom did what i would have done if i were older and wiser, but boy was i embarrassed. so embarrassed that i remember that that was the end of my friendship with this girl. and, there began the year (or 2) that i hated black people (because she stole my mama's ring, at least that is what my 12 year old mind thought). (let me also add that this 'hate' was more a 'fear' and probably propagated by the raging hormones of a middle school girl.)

the next year, 8th grade, one of her "cousins" (named vicki) wanted to fight me because i didn't like her or something. i don't really remember why, but i do know she was black. our high school was located across from a shopping center that had resturants and stuff, and after school one day i walked over to get ice cream. she and 2 others followed me. in a threatening manner. ... i wasn't about to fight a black person (because at my middle school "they" were all related and by fighting with one meant you would be fighting with ALL of them), especially off school property where noone would be around to stop her from killing me. so, i ducked into kerr drugs and stayed put until my mom came to get me.

i'm sure mom remembers this because i didn't want to go back to school. ever. because i knew what was about to happen.

the next day, this girl, vicki, pushed me 'up' a set of stairs. i had my hands in my pockets and just fell right down. i didn't get up, i wasn't gonna fight. i knew that would land me in more trouble than it was worth, not only with my dark colored peers, but with my mom and dad (who would be very disappointed if i got in a fight, and i'm not really a fighter anyway...) noone knew about this, a fight never happened, i just shrugged it off and kept walking.

long story short, the adventure of high school quickly made my 'hate' (fear) of black people fade away. for one, this girl (and her mean cousin) probably dropped out of school because i do not remember them in my high school. plus, i suppose hormones kinda level off by the time you are 16 and therefore you get past all those fears and misunderstandings.

all these years later, the ring has been written off as "stolen" "melted" "lost". it was years before my mom would give me a ring to wear. she did, finally, give me some (via santa). i still have them all. the first was an emerald ring. next was a cameo. next was my very own high school class ring, with a sapphire, just like hers.

UP NEXT: what goes around comes around!

red headed boys

to be honest, when the doctor first said that kendal had red hair, my first thought was "oh no!" mainly because... how many cute red headed boys have you ever seen?

let me recount the red headed boys i can think of, in the order that i can remember them.

-long time ago, like in 1st grade or something, i vaguely remember a boy that had red hair. for some reason i feel like his name was forrest. maybe that was his last name.. i really can't remember much about him except he had red hair and i didnt' like him.

+several years ago, i met a coworker's son (tankard), who had red hair. i think his name was hayden, but i'm not sure. he was a cute little guy. sweet as can be. and apparently a good son, too because his dad sure bragged about him (and his sister who also had red hair) a lot!

+recently, i met nathaniel's nephew zach, who is about the cutest 'grown' [boy] kid i've ever seen. maybe it is his personality, maybe it isn't his red hair at all, but he is adorable.

++even more recently, i've noticed that prince harry has red hair. i think he is SO cute. everytime they show him on tv, i say (outloud) "he is so cute!"

so i'm not so worried about my red headed boy now. i hope his hair stays red because it sure is pretty.


oh my god! he is so cute!!!

the SIT down bridge

now those of you who didn't grow up with me probably have NO idea what a sit down bridge is. well, lets go back before raleigh's population boom...

once upon a time, 401 was only 2 lanes, all the way to capital blvd. even more spectacular, capital blvd was only 4 lanes (or less). this was way before 540, triangle town center, even target or fuddruckers. even more, this was WAY before seatbelts were required for anyone, not just the front seat folks (noone needed them), and cars were LARGE (and in charge) back in those days.

when you drove south from rolesville towards capital blvd (south on 401), you had to drive beneath the north bound US1 single lane bridge. (there still is a bridge there, but it is very different...) and then quickly merge onto capital blvd. there was only about 100' of a merge lane onto one of the southbound US1 lanes. this sounds really complicated. so, i'll get to my point.

when we'd get to the bridge (which we were driving UNDER), mom would always say to sit down so she could see to merge. hence why it became known as the "sit down bridge."



this is the current "sit down bridge", which you wouldn't have to sit down for it now a days since it is 2 lanes which do NOT end, but since we ALL have to wear seat belts (even backseat passangers), i suppose every bridge is a sit down bridge.

mean man store

this photo isn't of the mean man store, but it is a photo of the little store next to it. this photo is from 1996, and now the above store is white, has lots of broken windows, and a front door that doesn't shut. i don't think the neighboring house is there either. why? because 401 was widened some 5 years ago.

back when i was little, 401 was the way we went to raleigh. from our house, we turned down mitchell mill road, went over the little river by mitchell mill state park (i used to always hope we'd stop and get to walk in the woods to see the old dam, which we could then walk down), then past andrea's house (which we always looked to see if they were home), then we'd pass the old house (where melissa and i spent our toddler years), then over the rumble strips (which mom would veer over in to the oncoming traffic lane (when safe) so we could feel the rumble strips coming from the other way), then past the turn where we'd go to the pool when we were little, then down the windy part of mitchell mill road, then over the up bump (which is now a stoplight and not much of an up bump at all anymore), then to the stopsign at mitchell mill and 401. then we'd turn left and look and see if there was water in the river (which there always was, but sometimes you could see the rocks poking out! see, i was a destined to be a geologist). next was the stoplight at perry creek road (and 401). maybe it wasn't a light at all, it may have just been a flashing light. so sitting on that corner (where there is now a walgreens) was what we called the "mean man store".

were there mean men there? i don't know. seems to me, though, that maybe it was in that store that my mama heard someone say "hell" or "damn" or maybe even "shit" which meant that our little ears didn't need to go in that store. maybe even they sold those magazines with naked women on the front, or maybe they had guns. i was never really sure why they were mean, but i do remember that we ONLY stopped there if we were about to run out of gas.

last week, i was driving to raleigh (alone, to work to print) and i noticed the little white centerblock building in the photo above was obviously abandoned. it reminded me of what 401 (and raleigh) used to be like when i was little. no walgreens, no malls (except north hills and crabtree), no subdivisions, no 6 lanes, no starbucks... no prostitutes walking the streets near capital and 440. "mini city" was still booming (and safe)...

was raleigh better then? probably not. is it better now? probably. but in those days, we sure didn't have to worry about water!!!



up next:
the sit down bridge!!!